


Rules to be Made

by BlackShady313



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Awkwardness, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Eventual Romance, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:57:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2843798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackShady313/pseuds/BlackShady313
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ted's always found his friend, Barney Stinson, to be on the little insufferable side. Lately, however, Barney's going a little too far with his actions; especially when it comes to touching a certain someone.<br/>~In which Ted does something about it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Over Stepping, Over Touching

**Author's Note:**

> In Which Barney is hesitant to be drunk again  
> but Ted's hesitant all together.

 

 

 

Ted Mosby was all for the bar scene,hell him and his friends practically lived at MacLarens every night.  Tonight however, things felt different, and Ted was still trying to work on the why.

 

"Man she sure thinks she's something," A tipsy blonde scoffed, sliding down in the booth beside Ted. As the drunk angrily downed his drink, he smirked slicking his hands through his short hair. "She's maybe a what? 6-7? 8 tops?" The blonde nudged Ted hard and he yelped, finally looking at his company.  "Hmm, ya sure." Ted knew who it was even before he had looked.  Barney. 

 

Surveying the rest of the bar, Barney clicked his tongue in disgust, finally giving up his women hunt in search of a waitress. "No wonder why your sitting alone old Teddy boy, it's dead out there." Barney said smugly, leaning back on the booth and turning his body towards his friend. Shaking his head, Ted laughed, sipping from his own drink. He was alone for a reason, even if he wasn't clear on the reason himself yet. 

 

"Maybe it's not the woman striking out but rather the men..." Ted drawed teasingly as Barney looked at him with raised eyebrows.  "Ted....TED!" Barney raised his voice when the brunette pretended to ignore him. He snapped his long slender fingers, "Pay attention, are you listening?" Barney grabbed his friends chin and yanked it towards him so both men where staring eye to eye. Ted growled angrily, removing Barney ' s fingers from him as he rubbed his jaw, "Hard not to listen with that loud anxious voice of yours ringing in my ear." Barney just laughed, slinking more back into the booth as he got ready to inform his best friend of another important life lesson.  There was alot of lessons to be learned after all. 

 

  
_**God dammit, why can't Barney respect boundaries!** _ Ted was still upset about Barney touching him so roughly.  Ted's chin still tingled from the contact and his face flushed angrily, wiping away where he touched.   ** _Calm down Ted! Your over reacting._  ** Breathing slowly, Ted tried to focus on something Barney was ranting about.  "And this body..." Barney gestured up and down, "doesn't strike out. If I want something, it's mine. Guaranteed."  His friend listened patiently, snorting quietly to himself at the blondes cockiness. "What ever you say Barney..."

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

  
**_Ted's being kinda a prude tonight._** These where the thoughts that circled Barney ' s mind as he watched his friend get more and more agitated by the second.  Some other thoughts danced in the back of his mind as well, but he kept those thoughts silent, even to himself.

 

Ever since Barney had first sat down Ted had seen distant and perhaps lost.  Eyeing him wearily behind his glass, he prepared his body to flee if Ted mentioned the trigger words, Marriage. Love.Kids. Wife. Barney ' s planned tonight consisted of getting royally drunk off his ass, not listening to his friend speak of veil things like marriage. 

So far, his plan was working.

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

 

 

"Hmm it's getting late, who do ya think I shaud  sleeps with?" Barney tipped, slurring his words as his eyes gleamed with lust. It wasn't often that the player got drunk, but these where one of those rare nights.  Ted looked around anxiously trying to find some desperate sap to dump Barney on but it was already too late.  Nestling down further, the Player got comfy in his spot as his one hand remained around his glass and the other moved to the back of the booth top, arm draped behind Ted's neck. 

 

"How about her?" Ted whispered horsley, and Barney ' s downward gaze snapped up to follow Ted's voice.  Humming and hawing Ted watched Barney ' s eyes slowly trail up and down a petite brunettes body.  The Architect watched the blonde's eyes grow with lust as he licked his lips slowly. "Mmm ya she's good Teddy..." His voice came out raw and hungry and Ted was so focused on his friend's facial expressions that he yelped a little too loud in surprise at Barneys sudden touch.  Barney said nothing, pretending not to notice as a small sly grin appeared on his face.

 

Quietly, with eyes still focused on the other woman, Barney had slipped his arm from around Ted's neck and slid it down...down...until his hand was gingerly resting on his friends outter thigh. Shuddering, Ted froze in place unable to speak or move besides his leg twitching in response.

 

   _ **WHAT.THE.FUCK.** _ Ted's inner voice screamed out silently as he watched his friends movements. Still girl - watching,  Barney polished off the remains of his 6th drink, slamming the glass down as he his eyes glazed over and he slowly closed them. Sighing in a sea of alcohol content, Barney daringly began stroking Ted's left thigh, moving slowly and gently with his long slender fingers. Glaring daggers at the blonde, Barney either ignored him or didn't care as he sighed again, moving his free hand to wander down to his own lap and... **_OH MY GOD IS BARNEY ABOUT TO TOUCH HIMSELF?!_ ** "Barney!" Ted attempted to yell but his voice came out in a whispered squeak.   ** _Pathetic Ted! Tell him to stop, to fuck off, your not some broad!_**

 

 

"TED. I'm drunk." Barney replied as if that was reason enough for his actions, a half moan caught in his voice as he cracked open an eye. Staring with dark sleep deprived eyes, Ted nodded in response. "Yeah,yeah I know Barney." "I'm so drunk..."  As if using his previous words as an excuse, he began stroking harder, faster, on Ted's thigh. 

 

Flushing red, the brunette squirmed under his friends caress. "Your not THAT drunk Barney, I've seen you hold your liquor alot better." Ted huffed angrily and Barney finally opened his eyes to look at his friend. "Can we pretend?" His voice a husky whisper,his eyes desperate.   ** _Can we pretend...._ ** The words echoed in the back of Ted's mind before he registered the meaning.

Gagging on his wine he had sipped on, Ted jumped in surprise as Barney moved his fingers inward, rubbing gently on Ted's groin. In shock Ted's glass had gone flying and his cheap 6$ a glass red wine went flying- onto Barneys brand new suit. 

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Well that sure got his attention as Barney instantly froze and stared down at his highly expensive velvet Grey suit. To say it was ruined was an under statement.  Barney looked like a woman gone wrong on her period,  crotch completely soaked and dampening his groind- and his mood. "What the fuck Ted," He growled. Sighing he reached for a bar napkin but hesitated when he saw movement from the corner of his eye. Looking cautiously he observed his flustered friend, napkin already in hand, as he began to dab and wipe at the offending mess. Silently cursing Barney the entire time, Ted scrubbed hard trying to remove the impossible stain and the brunette was so focused that he almost missed the impossible. Barney was hard. 

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~

Ted's breath caught in his throat as his hands continued to shakily clean up the mess, all while a silent blonde observed. **_Oh God, Oh God, why is Barney hard..._** Everything in his mind screamed at him to run, to stop, to yell, anything! ANYTHING besides this. Yet his hands continued to move, rubbing his friends crotch dry as Ted swore he could feel Barneys cock growing bigger.   ** _How the fuck is that even possible!! How is THIS even possible?!_ ** A tall somewhat slim woman walked by the boys booth and Ted prayed Barney was hard from the women around. Glancing up, Barneys eyes where locked on his crotch as he eagerly watched his friend, licking his lips,  uncomplaining. Ted had a terrible sinking feeling. 

 

Suddenly the air grew stuffy and heavy and Ted found himself growing anxious.  He didnt know what had gotten into Barney tonight and he wasnt planning on sticking around to find out. 

 

He pushed Barney away and got to his feet shakily  without as much as a word, then turned on his heels and walked out the door. The whole time he could feel his friends eyes burrowing into the back of his head as he left. He didn't care to look back, and frankly he could give too shits. 

Ted needed some time to think. 


	2. Hitting on Women, Sleeping with Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which both Barney and Ted have too much pride,  
> or in which Barney and Ted play chicken

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ha - ha,  tell me, how funny would it be if a bro hit on another bro while being intoxicated?" Barney raised the question as a joke, secretly studying Robin's facial features. Shortly after Ted had left the bar Barney had called Robin up. Right now Barney couldnt bare the thought of being alone...with his thoughts.

 

Thinking thoughtfully, she pursed her lips together in concentration before answering carefully, "I guess that depends Barney, is it just a random drunk thing that just happened or is it a I-want-to-get-in-your-pants-so-lets-get-drunk kind of situation?" Barney began to speak but Robin beat him to it, "Or are you hinting at doing something like this tonight? Because I can tell you right now Barney I'm in no mood for one of your shanigans tonight-"

 

 "It's about Ted!" Barney replied before he could catch himself. He instantly flushed red and covered his mouth with his hand.  The blonde always had such smooth pale, perfect skin and when the Player was embarrassed it was hard to hide. He waited for her response. When none came he coughed nervously. Finally finding herself after her initial shock, Robin threw back her head and laughed loudly, amazed at the kind of things her friend always got himself into. 

 

Finally quieting down, curiosity got the best of her and she had to ask, "So paint me a picture of what your talking about exactly because I'm having trouble seeing this." Leaning forward her eyes sparkled mischievously and she had to add ,"Don't tell me Ted dyed his hair blonde again,is that why you mistook him for a girl?" Feeling agitated and upset Barney snapped back ,"I'll have you know Ted does NOT look like a woman when he dyes his hair, but rather a preteen backstreet boy and furthermore-" Barney was cut off by Robin's howl of laughter. Barney was just too much for her right now. Suddenly she realized something. "So if you didn't think Ted was a girl.." "what are you trying to say Robin?" She looked around nervously before leaning in. "You tell me Barn, what am I trying to say?" 

 

Barney wasn't an idiot, he knew exactly what his friend was getting at. That he was gay, a homosexual, a queer,  a faggot. If Robin was a man he would of slapped him for even thinking of such a thing.   ** _But still.... One couldn't help but wonder what Ted would look like naked, and in front of me... No! There's nothing to think about! I'm not some faggot, and I sure as hell ain't a pussy. I just like licking ones._ ** Barney took a sip of his drink shakily, laughing away his thoughts... his REAL thoughts. "To drunk times!" He lifted his glass as casual as he could, silently cursing his shaking hands. 

Robin studied quietly,as she too raised her glass, noticing a few new things about her friend. For now, she'd keep it a secret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

Groaning loudly, Ted stretched out his back before standing to face the day. He was tired, he was grumpy, he needed coffee. 

 

As the brunette sipped on his morning brew, memories of yesterday came crashing in and Ted couldn't help but shake his head and laugh at the stupidity of it all.

"What goes on in that head of yours Barney?" Ted asked quietly to himself. He sat silent, as if waiting for an answer. 

 

Last night was awkward, but the random was to be expected from someone such as Barney Stinson.  Ted was all but ready to chalk everything up to a stupid drunk night but then something odd happened. 

Barney disappeared.  

•••

Ted sat nervously fidgeting, nursing his beer in hopes of calming himself down.  So far,  it wasn't working too well. 

 

It had been 1 week since the night that Barney and Ted shared their incident, and since that night nobody had heard or seen the blonde man. He had mysteriously vanished, as if non existing.  Ted had tried to be casual, asking nonchalantly if any of the gang had seen Barney around.  Marshall and Lily shook their head no, deep in thought in where he could be. Robin simply stared at Ted as if he secretly knew the answer.  Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Ted would find out the answer tonight.  

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

Fighting back a groan, a chill crept up Barneys spine as he remembered why he made a mission of avoiding Andrea on a daily basis. 

 

She was crazy for one, yes her beautiful was breath taking but on the blondes crazy hotness ratio scale, she just wasn't adding up. Too much crazy in her system. Something shattered in the kitchen and Andrea screamed out in Russia, breaking more foreign objects.

  
_**A little too something indeed**_. 

Barney couldn't help but wonder how he had ended up at her house and then he remembered.  

•••

☆ **FLASHBACK** ☆

"You tell me Barn, what am I trying to say?" Robin's words echoed on the back of his mind. **_What am I trying to say... what am I trying to say..._ ** "To drunk times," He laughed her words off casually, lifting his glass. He downed his glass in one go and looked around eagerly for a distraction.  ** _Too old, too fat, too manly, too...Andrea?!_ ** Barney gave a side ways glance over to the tall Brunette laughing in the corner of the bar. 

 

She looked...angelic, and innocent if Barney didn't know better. Underneath her slim exterior she was a cold witch looking for any man she could sink her claws into and destroy.  Barney had fallen for her act once, years ago, and he hadn't been stupid enough to try and sleep with her again.  

 

Looking down at his empty glass, the effects of the drinks where really starting to blur his vision and his thoughts where on the verge of depression. Robin wasn't helping either with her skeptical stares at him, studying him, mocking him...judging him like his very thoughts where. Barney looked at Robin and then he looked at Andrea. All this....it was just too much. 

 

He scooted out of the booth without a word to his friend and walked over confidently to Andrea. There was no question that he could get her, that was easy enough.  The problem was: did Barney really want her?? That didn't matter either because she was smiling at him, and Barney was pretty sure he was smiling back. She said something in her thick Russian accent to him and the Player simply nodded, only half listening. Before he knew it, he was being escorted by the hand **o** ut the door and to her car, leaving behind a friend who could only shake her head as she watched the whole thing. **_Barney has some serious problems._ ** Robin couldn't of been more right. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

Nothing prepared Ted for what awaited him behind the silk curtain door.

 

For starters it was dark, almost too dark, as Ted found himself almost stumbling over the hidden objects displayed throughout the room. However, the major issue would have to be that it was late, and Ted was by himself, trespassing.

 

When Ted had asked his friends if anyone had seen Barney nobody seemed to have had a clue. He was about ready to give up and just wait it out when Robin piped up about a woman Barney had taken home the one night. That had been a week ago, but it was the last time anyone had seen or spoken to Barney, so it was the best they  had. 

 

After describing her, Ted was amazed to learn that Marshall knew exactly who she was.  Her name was Andrea Martin and she had attempted multiple times in the past to pick up Marshall and even Barney himself had once said she was dangerous.   ** _So why did Barney go back??_ ** Ted couldn't help but feel partly responsible. He had known his friend was drunk and he had just left him there. 

 

With the guilt riding the back of his mind, Ted found it easy to say yes when Robin suggested that someone go over and see if she knew anything about Barneys whereabouts. One phone book later and a 20 minute taxi ride over and Ted was outside the apartment doors. 

 

The lights where on, and suddenly Ted didn't feel so sure.

 

With a shaky breath he rang the buzzer. No one responded.  Feeling slightly eritated, Ted tried again, and still there was no answer. "Well what the fuck lady, the lights are on!" Ted growled to himself. It was cold out, and hopping back and forth on one foot wasn't really helping.  Besides what if Ted really did find Barney, then what? The Architect hadn't thought that far ahead, and it seemed it wouldn't matter anyway.

 

Sighing he turned away from the apartment building and shuffled down the steps. The wind began to pick up and Ted cocked his head back to shield his face from the burning stinging sensation. That's when he noticed it.

 

On the second floor, Andrea ' s apartment, a Grey suit lay folded on the window Banister. Laughing, Ted turned away. _**Calm down Ted, there's plenty of men in New York that wear suits....** _ But still... Ted turned back one final time and froze. He hadn't noticed it before but there- clear as day- was a large dark red stain on the crotch on the suit of his pants.  There was no mistaking that these where the same pants Barney had worn that night Ted had spilled wine on him. Barney must of been too drunk to bother changing at home before going out with this woman. 

 

There was no mistaking that Barney was in there and Ted, too, needed to be there. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"Well this is a fine mess you've put yourself in Barney," the blonde said bitterly to himself. The first night with Andrea had been fun - and insanely wild like he predicted but then after that it had all gone down hill from that.  "Stupid-stupid- how could I be so stupid! Everybody knows you don't take after drinks after sex" Barney cursed at himself, for he had done just that resulting in 2 hours of drugs induced sleep. When he awoke, he was chained to the bed and beaten severely.  The wounds still fresh, and tender. The blonde thought this would go on for a couple hours at most but here he was- a week later, still chained to the same bed and Andrea didn't seem to eager to give him up any time soon.  

 

He heard rustling in the other room and he knew she was coming back. He squirmed hard, cursing as the cuffs dug into his sore wrists. It was no use. **_Why do psychos gotta be so damn hot!_**

 

Andrea appeared in the doorway with full leather on and a whip in hand. "Very good your awake," she grinned menacingly. For once in his life, Barney was not looking forward to sex. He wasn't even hard!  Andrea pressed play on her speakers and music filled the air as she began to dance to the music, whipping the air with each pause. As the blonde squeezed his eyes shut and waited for whatever was to come, he couldn't help but hope Ted would come and save the day. **_That's wishful thinking, ya and when Ted saves me he'll tell me he's wanted me for a long time and wanna fuck my brains out_**. Barney couldn't help but cry silently, not at being captured by a lunatic , but simply because of how pathetic his fantasizes and hopes where. Barney was a Stinson and Stinson ' s where strong! He faught through his pain, blinking rapidly to stop the tear drops from falling.

 

Barney would fantasize one last time as Ted's smiling face flashed in his head as a blindfold was placed tightly around his eyes. **_One last time..._** Barney didn't know when he started feeling and acting like a woman, and he didn't like it one bit. ** _Fucking Ted._**

~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

 

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" An angry heavily accented Russian woman yelled out. Ted almost shrunk back, taking in her height as she stood at an impressive 6'3 with ice shooting in her veins. She was a thin woman, but she was also a crazy woman,Ted had seen the look in her eyes instantly when he entered the room.  "I SAID,  WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" She asked again, moving forward ready to strike.  Ted couldn't help but think this has been a bad idea but then he saw him. **_Barney!_**

 

"Haaaave you met Ted," Barney asked behind his tightly wound blindfold. **_How did Barney know??_ ** It looked like Barney was attempting to smile but his body displayed anything but happiness.  He was trembling,  as if a wounded animal that had been beaten for days. Looking down at Barneys perfectly sculpted body that now was covered in disfiguring  scars and burns, Ted couldn't help but think he wasn't too far off from the truth. Ted suddenly didn't feel so scared- Ted was pissed.

 

Andrea ripped Barney's blindfold off, demanding he tell her who was invading her house. Noticing Barney had been right, that it indeed was Ted, he simply shrugged his shoulders. He did everything to hide the grin that threatened to appear.

With a menacing scowl written across her face she began to advance on Ted, and Ted feeling a little bit over whelmed with adrenaline by this all, did the first thing that came to mind: he hit her over the head with  a bottle.   

He hadn't meant it to be hard, nor did Ted really think he meant to touch her all all, but as the firey brunette kept advancing and Ted kept backing up, there was only so much space a man could cower. All Ted could think about was, **_Holy shit that actually worked._**

 

All Barney could say to that was," Why Theodore I think you just hit a woman." 

 

Finally catching his breath  Ted looked up, glaring daggers at his friend. "Ya well, your the one who had to go and sleep with some crazy bitch who locked you up for a week," Ted mumbled back defensively.  Ted was a romantic, not a woman beater, and this whole situation made him uncomfortable; especially Barney.

 

"Ted, please, it's me. This isn't anything unexpected. You should know me by now."  Ted sighed, Barney had a point. He did know exactly the kind of women Barney was into:anyone thin, but something nagged at the back of his mind. He knew Barney, and then he didn't.  

 

"So wait- what the hell are you into these days??" Ted asked exasperated. **_Do I really want to know?_ ** Ted feared the answer, yet he craved the response. 

Ted didn't know what he wanted from Barney.

 

Thinking thoughtfully the blonde rubbed his chin in concentration before breaking into a huge grin, "I'm into broods and Ted's," He answered cheekily, knowing full well what Ted had meant.  Barney had been drunk that night but he remembered everything that had happened, everything he had done. 

 

 Ted groaned, rubbing his head in frustration.  Nothing ever came easy when it involved Barney.  He could tell that Barney was joking... **_Or was he??_ ** Ted wasn't too sure anymore.

 

Choosing to ignore his comment instead of examining it, Ted began searching the room for the key to the handcuffs. Barney eyed him quietly before calling out, "What's your hurry Theodore? Shell be out for hours." "My hurry is that you've been missing for a week and everyone's worried about you. Plus you've been in handcuffs for how long?? I'm sure you want get out of here," the brunette said, as he continued to rumaged around the room. Barney swallowed hard. "Everyone was worried?" He asked quietly, as if refusing to believe it. He had only been gone for 7 days and he had been amazed when someone had shown up, especially it being Ted. Sure they where his friends, but did they really care? **_What about Ted? Why did he come?_**

 

Sensing the insecurities in his friends voice, he stopped what he was doing and turned to look at the blonde laying in bed. Ted's dark eyes softened as he sighed and came to rest on the edge of the bed. Turning towards Barney he spoke reassuringly.  "Course we where worried Barney. You think nobody noticed? You think nobody cared?"  Barney looked away, refusing to look at Ted. He didn't know what to say. "You where worried too?" 

 

Ted rolled his eyes but a small smile stayed in place. "Course I was idiot, why else am I here? I could be at home right now watching Star Wars or sleeping." "Pft, please Ted I'm way better then your bed, and Star Wars isn't Star Wars without me," Barney mocked, growing confidence from Ted's words. Barney fed off people's comments.

 

"So what you mean to say is that you missed me," Barney asked suddely,  trying to keep the eagerness from his voice. Ted had gotten back up and continued his search. "Mhm, ya..." He mumbled back, not really paying much attention. The room gave him the heebie jeebis and he just wanted to get the hell out of there. Barney however, was finally safe, and had other ideas. 

 

Barney knew how to manipulate people, including himself, as his voice turned low and husky. " Do tell me Theodore, what exactly is it that you missed?" The blonde raised the question in a seductive manner. Barney thought he nailed his tone perfectly.  Ted noticed. 

 

Freezing in place, Ted didn't dare turn to face his friend,  instead clutching heavily to the dresser door as his knuckles turned white. **_Please don't Barney...Please...not now..not now.._ ** "What are you talking about Barney, your my FRIEND, I just missed you in general," Ted finally replied, emphasizing the word friend while still trying to keep casual.  Barney growled quietly but said nothing in return.

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~

  
_**Just leave things alone, don't be stupid again!**_ Barney cursed and begged himself to shut up but it was no use. His mind said no but his lips kept moving.  "Of course, of course, I suppose that's ALL you missed then?" Barney asked in a fake pout, emphasizing on all.  If he wasn't careful, he was going to get his answer, and Barney had a feeling he wasn't going to like it.

 

Turning around Ted sighed, "What exactly is it that your expecting me to say Barney,huh? That I missed your obnoxious in-your-face- attitude? Your arrogance? The way everything's a challenge with you?!" 

 

Barneys face turned white but he didn't back down, smiling a thin smile. "I was thinking more along the lines of my rocking body, my sexy irresistible personality,  and my all around good natural c harm," Barney finished his thought in a teasing tone. **_Is Ted going to yell at me? Oh god what if he leaves me here._**  He was surprised when the opposite happened.  His friend seemed to deflate before his very eyes, sighing loudly before he rested his body against the dresser behind him. "And so What if I did? What difference would that make?" Ted asked so quietly that Barney wasn't sure if he had actually heard anything. The brunette watched him with thoughtful eyes. 

 

  
**_Wha... did Ted just say what I think he did??_ ** Barney was shocked into silence for the first time in his life. Barney was amazed, Ted was terrified. "Barney...?" Ted squeaked out and the blonde snapped from his daze, recollecting himself.  

 

"Then I'd say I missed you too...." Barney trailed off quietly, unsure of what to think. **_Is Ted teasing me? What really did he miss about me??_ ** A million things where running through Barneys head and he was having a hard time quieting them all. Noticing his friends vulnerability,  Barney felt like slapping himself as he continued, "Want to know what I missed about you?" He tried to stop himself but the words where already out. To his relief Ted seemed to smile as he edged away from the dresser and closer to the bed again. "Ya..ya I do," He whispered quietly. 

 

Barney wasn't expecting that. **_Oh god what do I say??_ ** Over the years he had spun so many tales and yarns to get women into bed with him and majority of them had worked -easily.  But this...This was different. Barney didn't want to lie, he didn't want to tell a story, he just wanted Ted...all of Ted. Barney wasn't sure if he could get anybody by being himself.

 

 It had sickened him to think of wanting another man but being captive for a week had given the blonde some much needed thinking time (not to mention sicko bitch making it easier for Barney to dislike woman) and Barney was slowly starting to accept himself. He didn't like it, he wished to god it wasn't true but god he couldn't help it. When he looked at Ted he didn't see a man he saw perfection. He wasn't sure when he noticed this but now that he had, there was no escaping the facts. Barney was crazy for Ted but Ted didn't seem to feel the same way. Memories flooded in of the night Barney tried to touch his friend, resulting in said friend fleeing the scene.   ** _But this...This right now...what did it mean..._**

 

"Having a hard time listing all the amazing things about me or what?" Ted timidly joked when Barney didn't respond right away. "YES! I mean wait.What??" **_Oh shit right_**! Barney cursed himself for zoning out again, if he wasn't careful Ted was gonna think he was a freak. The architect laughed, running a hand through his messy short hair and Barney couldn't help but stiffen a groan. **_Fuck Ted looks so good right now! I just want to take him and..._ ** Ted's words cut through his thoughts. "Your probably exhausted Barn,  let's find the keys and get you home okay?" Ted was right, Barney had been exhausted but now that the brunette was here, Barney was something else. He was horny as fuck.

 

"Your right!" The blonde burst out when he noticed Ted was about to leave the bed again. "I missed your boring architect facts and your boring stories on buildings -" "Hey!" Ted tried to protest, but he remained on the bed, a small smile beginning to form. Barney continued, "I missed how you always feel the need to correct someone on anything- even stupid things.  I miss how you mispronounce encicpedia-" "It IS enci-" "Ya, ya, nobody cares Ted." Barney said, waving his friends comment off.Ted shook his head and tried to give his friend a glare but he couldn't help it, he burst into laughter. Tears began to form in his eyes and the brunette wiped them away, still chuckling quietly. "Anything else Barn?" **_Stop now while he's laughing. Before you ramble something stupid and blow it all..._ ** Unfortunately Barney never listened to anyone, not even himself. 

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

"Of course dear Theodore,  I love how after one date you can tell someone that you love them and truly mean it and when they don't work out you can still try again to find love."  Ted swallowed hard, taking in Barneys words. **_He likes that about me? He always laughed at me for that._ ** The blonde was still talking and Ted re - focused,  not wanting to miss anything Barney had to say. Ted wanted to know- he needed to know what his friend thought.  

 

"I love how you spend 2 hours in the damn washroom trying to make your hair "perfect" when you all need to do is wake up and not brush your hair. I love your laugh and your passion. If you want something- you work hard to get it.

 

 

" I thought we where talking about things you missed about me, not loved?" Ted asked quietly, still trying to take everything in. 

"Can missed and loved not be two of the same?" Barney asked boldly.

Ted thought about this and laughed nervously. "That's quit deep for a player such as yourself there Stinson." 

"Maybe I get tired of being myself sometimes," Barney said casually.   _ **What the hell is Barney talking about??** _ "Coming from the man who has a list of over 300 women he's slept with and a play book of all the moves he's performed, you seem to be enjoying yourself just fine." **_You can lie to any women in the world but you won't make a fool out of me._ ** Ted thought, suddenly feeling angry, as to why he wasn't sure.

 

"What if someone came along and made you feel different, made you want to change, to be a better person." Ted waited for Barneys after comment about "already being awesome" but none came. The brunette was shocked, **_Is Barney actually being serious for once in his life??_** Edging closer on the bed, Ted's heart began to pound and his palms started to feel sweaty. **_Don't ask don't ask_** but he did," What kind of person are you talking about Barney?" It was Barneys turn to flush as he looked away from his friend quickly. "I don't know...just....someone." 

 

"Someone like Robin?" Ted whispered, knowing that for awhile Barney had seriously considered marrying her. They hadn't worked out (for various reasons) and Ted didn't pry. Barney shook his head but said nothing. The minutes seemed to drag before Ted heard a voice call," Think the keys under the pillow." 

 

Startled, Ted jumped a little at the voice but relaxed when Barneys smooth laugh filled the air. "Whatsa matter Teddy, thought I was Andrea?" Wrinkling his nose at the name, he shrugged sheepishly before leaning for his friends pillow. **_Here's hoping it's here._ ** His hand fished around for awhile then stopped cold when he noticed his friend.  

 

Barney was breathing hard and staring at Ted the same way he did that night at the bar. Heavy eye - lids,  long eyelashes peaking out from hazy lust filled eyes. **_Is this the look he gives women before he fucks them? No wonder he gets them in bed so easily..._ ** Ted was so startled by his thoughts  that he shot his hand out of the pillow once he found the key and quickly un cuffed the blonde with shaking hands. Ted made to get up- but not before Barney grabbed him and pulled him back. 

 

"Ba. ..Barney...let go" Ted whispered, voice shaking as he looked at his friend. "Ya...just wait a sec, will ya? Just wait..." And Barney was on him before he could finish his sentence.  

 

Ted let out a startled cry but Barney shushed him with his tongue. Pushing back against his chest, Ted freed his mouth and attempted to push his friend off him but Barney was too strong, refusing to let go.  Pulling him back hard- Ted found himself on top of Barneys lap, a growing erection pressed underneath him.  "Oh god Barney..." **_Maybe we can fix this, I can pretend I don't notice and..._ ** Barney made damn sure Ted knew he was hard. Moving one hand gingerly to the brunettes back he rocked him forward and then back so that Ted felt the friction between them. Barneys hard on was pressed firmly between Ted's own groin. "This is fucked Barney..." Ted warned but the blonde ignored him moving his hand from his back to the nape of his neck. He gently pushed Ted's face forward and took his lips into his own again.  Soft at first, bittersweet and passionate then hard, quick, but never sloppy. Ted had to wonder if he was Barneys first kiss with a man. And then.... **_OH GOD!_**

 

Barney was biting his lip and then he was sucking it better and **_FUCK!_ ** Ted couldn't help but enjoy it, body quivering with pleasure. Barney or not, this was the best damn kiss Ted had ever experienced. It was like pure ecstasy, he could taste everything and it was absolutely wonderful. Before Ted could realize, he was right there with the blonde, kissing back hard and pushing against him. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~

"So um...are we going to talk about what just happened," Ted asked meekly.  They had just kissed but with Barney it felt amazing- like he had just been fucked wildly. **_God what would sex be like with Barney..._ ** Ted couldn't help but stir with arousal at the thought. The very thought disturbed him.  "Nope, wasn't planning on it," Barney said casually as he tried to look for the clothes Andrea had confiscated from him. "Oh ya, okay, ya your right..." Ted said trying to sound just as casual as his friend, he was failing and Barney noticed.  

 

"Common Ted you don't really want to talk about two bro's making out do ya? You honestly want to talk about the G word?" Barney found his offending suit and with a sigh, put the top part on.  The blonde was tired but Ted didn't let up, instead stepping into Barneys line of vision. "I don't care about the G word Barney. If you still think about women or just men now is none of my concern. I don't care about that."  "THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!" Barney snapped, growing frustrated.  He was exhausted and on edge. Barney instantly regretted himself as soon as he looked at his friends face. "Ted I didn't mean..." He said stepping forward to put a hand on his shoulder.  Ted brushed it off, walking towards the door and overtop a still passed out Andrea. Was she dead?? Eh, Ted was sure he saw her breathe. 

 

"Nawh you right, I don't want to talk about this. EVER. I don't want you ever touching me again either and I'd think it'd be good if you stayed away from me for awhile," Ted said coldly not once looking back. Barneys heart began to break as he took it all in. "TED WAIT!" "Goodbye Barney," Ted froze as Barney whispered back, "I missed you Ted. Turning around he quickly walked back to the blonde and growled, 

"Well then act like it then, for once in your life can you try to be a half decent human being?"

"I don't know how," Barney replied, whimpering, as tears began to brim in his eyes. He felt stupid, and wiped at them angrily. Sighing heavily, Ted wiped the remaining stain from Barneys cheeks gently before looking into his eyes. Honestly, Barney was over dramatic some times but Barney couldn't help it, Ted just got to him.

 

Whimpering like a lost puppy, Barney nuzzled his head against Ted's neck. "For the record I wasnt crying, there was something in my eye." "Ya ok Barney," Ted replied, sighing. Barney feeling vulnerable pressed on,"I like you alright. More then I liked any hoe Ive ever taken home, and maybe even more then when I dated Robin. Is that what you want to hear?" Ted sighed, rubbing his forehead."I don't know, is it the truth Barney?"  "Everybody knows bro's don't lie to fellow bro's, Ted," Barney answered sheepishly, grinning cockily.  Laughing quietly, the architect rested his head on the other man's forehead. "I'm pretty sure it also says somewhere that bro's shouldn't kiss other fellow bro's. Or want to sleep with them for that matter." 

"Ted there's over 100 rules, you can't possibly expect me to follow every single one of them. I'm only human, not matter how awesome I am," Barney said it so nonchalantly that Ted couldn't help but burst into laughter. **_Besides, I'm willing to break a few rules for you..._ ** Barney thought seductively, eyeing his friend up and down. Ted noticed Barneys look, flushing as he looked away. "So I ask again...what now?"

 

"Guess that's all up to you Teddy boy, you tell me." Ted's heart began to pulse as panic set in. He had never been with another man before and here Barney was, more experienced with sex then a sex ed teacher, and asking him to make the first move. "I um..." Ted flushed, too embarrassed to say. Laughing Barney ran a hand through his hair. "Please Theodore, I've seen everything and I've done everything, nothing you say is going to surprise me." 

"What if I told you I wanted to bend you over backwards and shove my hard cock inside of you," Ted said casually, eyes gleaming as he eagerly awaited Barneys response. 

 

Barney choked on his spit, doubling over in surprise. The blonde hated being caught off guard, his face flushed with embarrassment as his underwear grew tighter.  He knew Ted was loving this and he hated the thought. Barney was glad he was wearing boxers as he hid his growing hard on. "Why Theodore, I do believe you'd be the one bending over for me," Barney said, trying to regain the conversation in his domain. He was pissed when Ted didn't bite, and even more so when he grew even more aroused. 

 

"Nawh, I don't think so, that's not how I picture it," Ted said cooly looking at his friend.  Loosening his collar, Barney did his best not to appear nervous. "Please, you think you can handle all this?" He gestured up and down his full body.   "Why don't we go find out?" The brunette replied cooly.

Barney gulped. **_Where did this Ted come from??_  **"What's the matter Barn, don't think you can handle me?" Ted asked, purring his words. For once in his life, Barney was at a loss for words.  " I um...don't be ridiculous Ted, A Stinson can handle anything." The blonde replied huffy.  "Then come show me then," Ted grabbed Barneys tie and started pulling him towards the door.  Grabbing groggily for his stained suit pants, Barney followed without complaint as he let his friend lead him.  His head was spinning and he couldn't see straight. All he could think was **_Holy fucking shit!_**

~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

  
**_SHIT.SHIT. Shit.  What was I thinking?? HAVE I FUCKING LOST IT ???_** Ted didn't know how, but he knew this had to be Barneys fault somehow.  Barney his friend- the man who always bragged about every position he could place a women in- was following him like a submissive little slut. Ted hated how he felt-  but he couldn't deny it. He wanted Barney. He wanted to be IN Barney.

The thought nauseated him but he kept moving forward with an air of fake confidence.  

  
**_God dammit Barney.  Why couldn't you leave me the fuck alone that night!_ ** None of Ted's thoughts came to light as he continued to lead. **_Where am I taking him??_** His apartment apparently. **_Would that be so weird? Two friends going back to one's place in the middle of the night...two friends...what is this? Two friends fucking??_** Ted cursed himself for being too afraid to ask the blonde, then he grew nauseated. **_Oh God am I actually considering fucking a man?? And Barney Stinson for Christ's sake!!?_**

 

"So how you gonna fuck me, Theodore? Your more girl then most grown ass women," Barney asked trying to regain some confidence in the situation as he played with his collar. Ted would have none of that, if Ted was freaking out then he'd make sure Barney was too, "The same way I fuck all the women I sleep with. Rough and dirty- just the way they all like it." Barney gasped, face flushing white, as he choked on his spit. "Please Ted, I'm not some bitch." Feeding off his emotions Ted pressed the blonde more," Mm you sure about that Barney? Because I've heard you before....and I gotta say..." Ted leaned close,his lips brushing the tip of Barneys ear. "You sure moan and scream like a bitch." 

 

The blondes face flushed in embarassment before he grew defensive. "Ya well you sure where acting like a bitch the other night," Barney spit harshly. There was no way in hell Barney would allow anyone to call him a bitch, even someone as sexy as Ted. 

 

Ted felt like telling Barney that it was a reasonable action to be alarmed when a same sex friend randomly hits on you out of the blue in a bar. Ted almost felt like telling Barney this, but he knew better. Narcissistic or not, Barney was very insecure and everyone knew it except for the blonde himself. The Player was clueless and Ted burned for him. 

 

"Ya your right, I was acting like a dumb ass Barn," Ted cooed reassuringly.  It seemed to work as Barneys shoulders began to relax. "You mean you where acting like a bitch," He corrected.  Rolling his eyes, Ted agreed. He felt bad for thinking it but Ted knew Barney was easy to manipulate, and he couldn't help but loving manipulating him.

  
_**Am I a bad friend?**  _They arrived at Ted's door and he opened it and turned to look at his bro. Barney was tired and irritable, and he was also slightly sweaty.  In other words, Barney looked fuck able. Suddenly Ted didn't care if he was a shit friend or not. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Stepping into the apartment Barneys heart began to beat a hundred miles an hour. _**Pull your shit together! You've been to Ted's before!** _ Feeling slightly better from his inward pep talk, the blonde strutted in and sprawled himself down on his friends couch. "Fuck it feels good to be out of that crazy bitches house. Thought I'd be stuck in this god damn handcuffs forever!" Barney chuckled nervously, staring at anything but Ted.

 

"That's too bad," Ted chuckled back," I was hoping to get kinky with handcuffs or something..." **_Is Ted fucking with me!??_ ** Barney couldn't tell, testing the waters he growled husky, " Ya or something alright." 

 

"We need a safe word I think, there's some rules that need to made." Ted blurted out quickly, flushing with embarrassment after the words had left his mouth.

 

 For the first time in awhile that night Barney felt he had the upper hand, and he couldnt help but use it.

"Ya I got one Ted,how about this one, : anything goes!" 

 Ted looked startled but only for a moment before he stepped close to his friend.  "Good, I got a few things I've always wanted to try out. None of the girls I've dated have been up for the....challenge before." 

Barney stiffened a low groan as his body begged him for this...for Ted  
 ** _DONT SAY IT. DONT SAY IT._ ** Barney cursed himself but he couldn't help it, he HAD to say it.

"Challenge accepted!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly cant stand this chapter. I've been playing around with chapter 2 on and off for couple weeks and I just couldn't write anything satisfying so fuck it. Here's chapter 2 and there's only going to be one more chapter, in which sex will take place. So if this chapter hasn't scared you off, look for #3 :)


	3. Masters Of Manipulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Barney is smooth  
> but Ted is smoother.

 

 

The clock dragged by slowly as Barney counted each and every painfully agonizingly second.

 

Ted had gone to "freshen up" which in all fairness, the blonde needed more then the architect.  Instead slipping his disgustingly stained suit pants back on as he awkwardly waited.

The Ex- Player had asked innocently enough if the brunette needed some help washing those hard to reach places in the shower in which he was met with a ," I think I can handle it, Barney." 

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

_**Eh, can't blame a guy for trying.** _

 

Looking down at his normally smooth body, now littered with ugly twisted bruises and deep gashes, Barney growled to himself. 

"Nothing says sexy like a wounded animal..."

he mumbled sarcastically  to himself before realizing something...

Ted was a sucker for stupid defensive crap all the time!

 

A low chuckle escaped from his lips as he slowly laid back on Ted's thick bed sheets. If Ted wanted to pretend he was tough shit then Barney would make him work for his role.

He made a point to look extra helpless when he heard rustling in the next room, knowing full well that as soon as his friend caught eye of him again he'd melt like jello, wanting to baby him.

 

 

 

What Barney underestimated, however,  was that Ted could be just as stubborn as Barney, if not worse when he actually tried. 

 

so when Barney heard a quiet knock on Ted's bedroom door, the blonde did everything to contain his eagerness as he put on a meek and hurt face. 

_**I win. I always win.** _

"Come in."

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

_**Why the fuck am I knocking on my own door??** _

He felt stupid as soon as he had then remembered what was on the other side of the solid oak door.

Barney Stinson. The man who literally could be do anything right now from jerking off to somehow sneaking two girls into his bedroom and plowing both of them at the same time.   

_**And why am I doing this again?** _

 

Hell Barney could be....

 

**I _ **s Barney** crying??_**

Ted cocked his head at the unexpected sight, standing awkwardly in the door frame. 

Even when preparing himself, Ted could still manage to be shocked by his friend.

 

In all honesty, If Barney had stuck with his soap opera performance he probably would of manipulated Ted like he intended.

 

But he didn't....

 

Instead he sat up quickly, going from "Poor me, take care of me," to "I'm going to throw you down on this bed and fuck you raw."

 

That's when Ted remembered why he was doing all this.

He loved manipulating Barney just as much as he knew the blonde loved doing it to him. 

 

It was fucked up, but Barney was fucked himself and Ted was...broken and throughout the years the two had worked good together as dysfunctional friends... like it was supposed to be.

 

Needless to say Ted was only slightly surprised when he saw Barney change his tune and he could barely keep the cockiness from his voice as he called from the doorway, "See something you like?"

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Indeed the blonde did.

  Freshly showered Ted, with hair tussled perfectly, had on a a long pyjama set that Barney knew all to well. He shivered taking in the sight before him.

 

Marshall had convinced him months ago to try one on after seeing him in his magnificent (name of material) suit pyjamas that where all too sexy but not so comfortable. They where horrifically ugly and he had abandoned the comfort when they backfired on him one night. Throwing them at Ted and angrily muttering curses about Marshall under his breath as he left 

 

Yet....

seeing Ted adorned in them now, Barney had only one thought.

_**What the fuck happened to Ted turning to putty in my hands?** _

 

It seemed the tables had turned. 

 

"You know, if you took a picture it would last longer..." Ted trailed off, worry creeping up in the tone of his voice when the brunette still got no response.  

Cursing himself again for leaving Ted vulnerable,  Barney quickly covered up with a smile and an overly eager pat on the bed.

"Why Theodore I believe this is the new you! You simply must wear this to class Monday morning."

 

It worked.

It was as if like magic, Ted's whole body began to unwind; face turning up into a genuine smile.

 

"You think so, do you?" Ted practically purred, coming to sit where Barney's fingers delicately beckoned. 

"Oh I do, in fact if you where to wear this everyday you might be able to get your one student back...hmm now what was her name?" the blonde drawled, slender fingers tapping softly on the side of his thin jaw line as he pretended to think.

He smiled behind half closed eyelids as his brunette friend groaned, positioning himself further onto his bed. "CookedPoo."

Squealing with delight, Barney clapped his hands together as if a child given an early Christmas gift. 

 

"Yes that's the one, my your such a bad bad teacher aren't you Theodore.  Simply the worst,"  the blonde baited and Ted took to it easily.  

"Hey!  Who names their kid CookedPoo and for the record that's not even a real...."

 

"Shhh..."  Ted's rant came to an errupt halt as Barney placed a long finger overtop his friends lips, silencing him.

  
_**His soft soft lips**_....

"Barney what are you d-...Oh...OH."

~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

In a matter of a second Barney was on top of Ted, legs straddling the professors thighs close together. He shifted until the brunettes legs where splayed far apart, the night gown riding higher up on the architects inner leg. Heat began radiating against the welcomed friction of the boys groins as Ted hid a shiver of pleasure.

 

"You sure you don't want me to treat you?" Barney replied real low, talking sweet at first before he grabbed at Ted's perfect hair. Yanking his friend roughly, Ted's head snapped back ad he let out a surprised gasp, quickly covering his initial shock with a look of anger. "Ah Barney What the fu-"

Just as quick as it appeared, it was gone, and Barney's face turned to blissful innocence, gently pulling Ted closer to him as he stroked his cheek softly.

 

"You know... I've made girls cum at the mere touch of me, and well you are more girl than man..."

"I... w-what?"

_**How full of shit can Barney get...still..** _

It was Barney and Ted knew the player could really wind a story to get someone's attention.

 

"You know I've already felt your touch and I wasn't impressed...."

Ted teased, suddenly thinking back to the night at the bar from weeks ago. _**God it felt like so long ago**_.

 

"Really? Yet here I am in your bed straddling you like the little slut I always knew you could be Teddy. So tell me again about how much you don't want....this.."

At the end of his sentence he grinded their bodies together, emphasizing on This, as a moan slipped past Ted's lips.

_**No.No.No. It's not  supposed to go like this. Get it together Ted! Your supposed to be taking control.** _

 

See in Ted's mind, what they where doing right now was okay. Ted would pretend to dominant Barney and Barney in turn would freak out and back out but not before admitting to losing a challenge.  Ted always fantasized about Barney losing at something and tonight he'd lose to him.

 

However as the blonde in question continued to make provocative gestures, Ted's solid plan became blurrier and blurrier until all he could see was the blonde fingers gently sliding underneath his gown and resting against his outer thigh. There he stopped, eyeing his friend with a smirk as he begged him to refuse his advances. 

and "Ooh Fuck...!."

Ted began to realize that maybe just maybe , Barney didn't lie about everything as his fingers began a slow descent up, just resting on the edge of the brunettes inner thigh. His friend was mere inches away from his already fully grown hard cock and Ted was having a hard time pretending he didn't want this...want Barney..

 

"You know Theodore," Barney spoke, breaking the silence as his eyes lit up with mischief. "Your not a bad teacher at all..."

"Really?" he had to ask, stunned.

Nobody had said anything to Ted about his teaching since he started and it was good to finally be acknowledged.  

"Oh absolutely, not bad at all. Just...."

the blonde paused for a moment, grin growing as his lips softly touched against the teachers ear.

"Naughty. So so naughty...." the last part, a harsh whisper as his breath tickled against Ted's neck creating another involuntary shiver.

 

"Well thank you...Oh...." Then he cursed himself for being left speechless again by Barney's words.

The blonde chuckled quietly, loving every moment.  "You know it's been awhile since I've been in school. Tell me, what do you teachers like to use nowadays as punishment? I bet you 

punished yourself after CookedPoo left your class...."

 

And that was it. Ted saw his opportunity and he took it.

Now it was his turn to grin as Barney loosened his grip on him, suddenly worried he had went to far.

 

"Hey Ted I was just..."

Barney gasped,  the wind being knocked out of him as he lay on his back in two seconds flat, unclear of what just transpired,  the roles reversed.

"I don't like to pay for my own mistakes, I suppose you can say I'm a bit like you, Barn." Ted grinned down at his friend as he shifted his weight to his friends torso, pinning him down.

 

The teacher could feel Barney's rock hard abs underneath his ass and it felt...good...so fucking good. He grinded his ass into the chest underneath him and Barney growled, trying to escape.

_**Fat chance.** _

Then a disturbing thought occurred to Ted.

He wasn't supposed to like this...

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

  
**_Holy Fuck how did this happen. This is what I get for worrying about people._ ** Growling at himself for getting distracted by Ted's innocence...or so he thought...

 

 

"However, I think karma catches up to everyone eventually,  don't you?" Ted whined, attempting to be seductive and pulling it off wonderfully.

Barney was excited....way too excited.

 

 

 

"Well..."Ted pursued his lips, knowing what he wanted to ask but unsure if it was too extreme for even Barney. 

"You know we never did establish rules and what crosses the line and..."

Barney scoffed, sitting up slightly to get a better look at his friend. "Yes we did, the rules are already made. Anything goes remember? "

**_After all It's Ted, how bad could it really be?_ **

Barney watched as his friend grinned nervously before shrugging his shoulders in a 'I give up' position. 

 Quietly reaching down, Barney watched Ted grab something from under his bed as he hauled a decent sized container up.

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." Ted giggled, a look Barney had never seen before shining in his friends eyes.

 

That's when Barney remembered what Ted had told him before taking him back to his apartment.

_**Good I got a few things I've  always wanted to try out. None of the girls I've dated have been up for the...challenge before...** _

_**Oh god, what kind of challenge?!** _

 

The Ex Player didn't have to wait long for his answer.

He watched silently as Ted pulled out a heavy black collar with little chains connected to something....a battery? It was...

_**Well this was new.** _

Barney had no idea what it was until...

 

"T..Ted?? Why do you have that?"

His friend shrugged innocently in response.

"Was for my dog but I couldn't bring myself to use it on him. He never misbehaved as bad as you do...."

Barney stared speechless, eyes widening as Ted inched closer. "You did say anything goes, didn't you? Or is this too much even for the Great Stinson?"

♡He's baiting you, don't be stupid this is too crazy. Just tell him there's no fucking way your letting him use a shock collar on you!♡

He meant to say all those things but they got lost in translation, "Don't be a fool, nothings too much for me. I laugh if you think this will make someone like me behave. "

♡Wait what the fuck did I just say? That's not what I meant... try again!♡

"Oh will see about that, Ted responded, unable to hide his eagerness any longer as he slipped the collar around Barney's neck. 

 

The blonde was starting to realize why Ted couldn't find anyone crazy enough to do things with.

 

**_Yet here I am..._ **

 

"Tell you what, will make it a game. You do like those, don't you Swarley?" The hated nickname pricked Barney's ears and he gave a low warning growl in response.

"Well, don't you?  Your always making things a challenge after all. Let's make this a challenge for you," Ted smiled, unable to believe he was finally using the collar on someone.

 

"I'll ask you a question and if your wrong will have a little fun, ya?" the brunette tapped at the piece tightly enclosed around the blondes neck.   "What do you say Swarles? "

♡Jesus Christ Ted is fucking nuts!♡

Barney didn't know if he should be turned on or terrified in that moment. 

He was both.

 

●●●

"Wrong."

"Wait- WHAT!"

"OH MY FUUCK!"

 

A surprised gurgled noise erupted past Barney's lips at the initial shock as his body thrusted upwards, colliding with Ted's.

Ted could feel the normally sturdy body, tremble underneath him as he kept his friend pinned down. 

A tingling sensation traveled throughout his entire core as he tried to calm himself down and relax but to no prevail. ♡God that fucking hurt!♡

A layer of sweat had broken out across Barney's forehead as Ted wiped it clean, grinning the whole time as he tried to hide it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~

It was exactly what he thought it would be like but better. 

The expression on the blondes face- the noise that escaped Barney's beautiful lips was a sound to behold. It sent goosebumps up and down his body.

He should be worried for his friend but Barney was a big boy and Ted knew if he wanted to actually hurt him he could of put the settings way higher ..yet still....

_**This shouldn't turn me on as much as it does.** _

Barney's heavy breathing was the only sound that filled the room as it carried straight to Ted's full on erection.  He wanted to do it once more- would Barney let him?

 

"Want a safety word?" the teacher threw out, offering a way out for his friend but it was refused. 

Between laboured pants, Barney's face twisted into a half maked smile as he wiped more sweat from his face, back. 

"Please, I thought we where just getting started Theodore. My elementary teachers punished me better then that."

_**Oh fuck Barney...the things you do to me..** _

Ted almost came right there and then at the Ex players response.

 

Suddenly Ted realized why Barney did so well in bed. It wasn't his looks (although he was quit stunning to look at) no it was his ability to want to please so desperately. His un denying thirst to pleasure whoever, however they wanted. 

 

Ted couldn't of been more turned on in that moment.

 

"Next question. Hmm let's see let's see...

Ted's slender fingers absentmindedly trailed towards the blondes shoulder blade, rubbing gently at a bruise no doubt Andrea had created. **_Did Barney like this? Did he ask her to punish him- beg for it?_** The thought bothered the teacher and he tried to push it aside. Barney never begged for anything in his life.. least that's what Ted thought. ..

"Well...?" Barney drawled, either impatiently or nervously, Ted was unsure as to which. 

 

"Hmm..do you think that I'll be able to bend you over backwards and fit my whole cock inside you?"

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~

Barney froze at the unexpected comment, unsure of how to approach the situation.

He knew what answer Ted was looking for and all he had to do was say it, one simple word and he wouldn't have to deal with the pain, wouldn't have to feel it.

 

"Of course not Theodore. The only person bending over tonight will be yo-..."

 

"Wrong!"

 

 

Barney shuddered, body jerking quickly as the shock coursed through him entirely.

He was expecting it but there wasn't much to be done to prepare his body.

 

A thin line of saliva escaped his shaking lips as he watched Ted wipe it away with his finger, swirling the taste of him in his mouth.

_**Oh God what have I gotten myself into...** _

Barney's eyelids fluttered closed as he let the tingling aftermath pass through him.

He couldn't  stop shaking and the thought upset it. _**Pull yourself together Stinson!**_

 

Barney had done alot of fucked up things over the years but tonight was starting to top the cake. He craned his neck to look around before he laid back down and laughed quietly at the situation before him. 

_**I'm with my best friend in his bed....letting him get his rocks off with a shock collar and I'm actually enjoying this fucked up shit. My my Barney we've hit a new..Holy fuck what's he doing now!!** _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

Barney's eyes snapped open as he felt something tug at his clothes.

Ted worked fast- eyes completely focused on undoing the blondes belt as fast as he could (he knew Barney would never forgive him if he wrecked his pants even worse) The Architect  tossed it carelessly on the floor as Barney got ready to lecture and complain but was silenced when Ted focused his attention on Barney's lips. 

 

Pushing the blonde gently back down on the bed, Ted followed closely behind as he caught the blondes top lip with his bottom.  Groaning loudly, Barney fought back hard- slipping his tongue inside his friends mouth- and down his throat. 

 

"Barney....Barney..." Ted called between gasps as the Ex player fought back  a grin, pressing deeper into the kiss.  It felt as good as the first time- completely intoxicating, pure exstasy. 

 

"Ted, Ted..." Barney whimpered back, mocking his friend in a joking tone before he felt his friend tug him off him. 

 

Worried he hurt Ted's sometimes over sensitive feelings- Barney looked up at Ted wide eye as his friend stared back.

♡ _ **God Barney has beautiful eyes and beautiful lips and beautiful hair....**_ He gave a playful tug at the short blonde spikes as if to confirm.

  
_**Yup beautiful hair and beautiful**_....

Ted's eyes wandered down to the almost completely naked torso, a set of Calvin Klein's being the only obstacle in the way. 

 

Barney watched his friends hungry eyes, smirking to himself as he knew all too well what that look meant.  He was gonna fuck the shit out of Ted.

 

"I have a purple 8 inch dildo I've been dying to use lately. Let me use it on you?"

  
_**Wow that was subtle!**_ Ted cursed himself for rushing straight into asking as Barney's eyes widened once more. 

**_Beg.... make him want it...make him want you..._ **

Faking an air of confidence Ted reached around the side of the bed and produced, as he promised, an 8 inch shiny purple dildo.

 

The room was silent as Barney watched his friend quietly eye him and then eye the toy. Slowly he ran his tongue up and down the purple base until he made his way to the tip, all while refusing to look away from Barney.

_**Want me....** _

"Oh fuck Ted..." the blonde whispered horsley, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"W..why do you have this?"

"I like to have fun," the brunette responded quickly , not even batting an eye.

"Don't you Barn?"

Mouth frozen in shock, Barney simply nodded in response.  

 

"Can I have some fun with you? You look like the kind of man that knows how to have a good time."

Again the blonde simply nodded in response.

 

Ted's insecurities got the better of him as he started to worry that maybe this was too gay for Barney. 

 

Barney was worried, but not about the same thing as his friend.  In fact he was worried about something completely different.  

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Barney ignored a feeling that knawed at the pit of his stomach. ♡A dildo?? who else has Ted used this on, wanted to use?♡

Shaking his head he smiled innocently up at his friend, batting his eyes lashes for full effect.

_**Who am I to get upset. At least Ted hasn't slept around with half of New York. Than again...** _

Looking around at a normally timid Ted, now looking sex crazed; Barney had to wonder how much he really knew about his friend after all. A man that wouldn't shut up about wanting to find a good wife and have some kids was now just as ready to jump on a man- his good friend.  

  _ **I wonder if Ted is going through some kind of midlife crisis.**_

Reaching down, Ted licked slowly at Barney's thin line of hair leading down his boxers all while still looking up at him; signaling his impatience. 

Groaning, Barney fisted a handful of the brunettes hair, burying him further into him and down his boxers.

_**He'll be fine.** _

"Okay, okay..." he wined weakly. 

This was Ted Mosby... he could never say no to him and they both knew that deep down. 

●●●

"Don't turn around, come here...." Ted murmured reassuring to the blonde as Barney paused, turning back around nervously as he laid on his back. 

(Not that he'd ever admit to being nervous he was after all a Stinson and Stinson never get nervous....even if they've never been fucked before.)

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

"W...what's. ..Oh god what's that..ahh..AHH..."

Barney shivered, body trembling as he turned away.

"T...Ted..Ted..." His voice heavy with pleasure and confusion as the newly applied cock ring was placed around his shaft. The blonde didn't remember agreeing to this part.

He squirmed, trying to fight it but Ted pulled him closer, stroking the blondes dick as he nuzzled his head against his neck. All the while, cooing into Barney's ear.

"Shhh Shh that's enough now."

Ted never took the Ex Player as a sensitive type, assuming the boys body had become desensitized over the years for excessive use.

_**Yet...** _

Barney squirmed again, trying to quiet the whimpers that threatened to spill from his mouth.

The teacher moved slowly, finger caressing the very tip of the base the ring surrounded before slipping down and onto Barney's tip

"T...Ted...Oh. .mm...fuck" His body jerking in response.

"Like?" Ted whispered sensually as he slowly caressed the slit. 

Barney's only comment was a heavy groan as his eyes rolled back in his head.

 

The Ex player was never one to cum early but having the cock ring on that literally made you unable to unload was so exhilarating he wanted to lose himself right there and then.

His body practically begged for it.

 

"I thought...I thought. .." Barney tried, finding sentences impossible to form.

 

"What? That you wouldn't enjoy this as much as you are?" Ted grinned, moving into a better position as he spread Barney's shaking legs apart.

 

It scared Ted how much control he had over his friend in this moment. So vulnerable- so breathtakingly beautiful. 

~~~~~~~~.~~~~

  
_**I don't remember agreeing to a fucking cock ring!**_ The blonde yelled internally to himself before coming to terms that he wasn't fooling anyone. He fucking loved it.

 

Barney gasped as he re-focused and watched Ted spit into his hands, slicking his fingers up as he started to lube up the dildo.

**_Oh god this is going to hurt... why the fuck am I letting...!"_ **

"Ooh fu ....fuck! Fuck!"

Barney gasped as the hard rubber poked it's way against the blondes entrance. **J** _ **esus Ted didnt waste time!**_ Breathing hard,  Barney focused on not screaming bloody murder as Ted gently rocked his way in, inch by inch.

 

The ex Player had done alot of interesting things in the bedroom- more than the average human would care to know. However, Barney never let anyone make him feel like this...so open and weak.  So not in control.

 

"Ahh Ahhh..AHH..W. .woah.wait.WAIT.WAIT! TED WAIT!!"

The blonde dug his nails roughly into the bed sheets as he tried to fight the urge to rip Ted out of him.

It fucking hurt...alot. The purple toy rubbing hard against his insides.

"Ted please stop..." Barney whimpered and Ted slowed down his beginning thrusts as he looked at the blonde with worried eyes."Barney I'm sorry are you okay?"

 

 

Barney fought the urge to lash out in anger, fighting back tears as he gritted his teeth.

Choosing instead to become defensive.

"No Ted I'm not fucking okay I'm being attacked by this stupid ass... Oh...OHH..."

 

The dildo had finally began to soften against Barney's insides as it stretched and began poking at his G-spot and _**Fuck does this feel unbelievable!**_ His eyes fluttered close as he finally began to enjoy himself, moaning as quietly as he could; breathing becoming laboured.

Projecting his body higher up, he whined for more, silently begging his friend to put every inch inside of him until he was complete. 

 

 "Barney?" A worried voice rang in his ears 

as the man grunted in response.

"Want me to stop...."

He was met with no response as the ex Player focused on how good he felt.

"I'm sorry..."

Ears perking up, Barney opened his eyes to look at the brunette who was trying so hard to please him.

 Leaning up as much as he could without straining himself, he gave Ted a quick kiss on the lips. "Don't ever apologize."

~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Ted never thought about it before- and why would he?  But since the night at the bar when Barney had tried to come onto him, Ted had started to think about things he never paid much attention to before.

 

Like how loud Barney could be in bed.

He was a screamer-  there was never any doubts if Barney was fucking someone's brains out or not- you'd hear it.

It used to annoy Ted but now thinking back, he couldn't stop the growing sensation in his pants every time he thought of the sounds of Barney's voice and the squeaking of the bed.

 

Another thing that crossed Ted's mind was how much Barney worked hard to get someone. Be it getting them in bed or even in the middle of Intercourse.  The man always gave 110% and it showed. 

 

It was these thoughts that motivated the brunette to push Barney as far as he was able-  re-creating the facial features that every woman would kill to see on the blonde.

 

"T..Ted..Holy fuck...Holy fuck...HOLY FFUUUCK TTTEEE. .TTTEEED !" Barney gasped, throwing his head against the pillow as his whole body shook with each thrust.

"Ted..I wanna...I wanna cum soon...Ted....OH TED ...Ted please!" The blonde whined as he began to paw at the cock ring.

 

Ted wanted to keep fucking Barney...he wanted it so bad. Wanted the pleasure of Barney shooting his warmth because of him-because of what he did for him.

But he wanted something even more. He wanted to please Barney so much.  Wanted Barney to experience everything..

_**Well that and ....** _

Ted eyed Barney's still very hard dick and groaned at the very thought.

""Sliding in me... filling me completely with his seed.. .""

_**Holy fuck...** _

The brunettes thoughts alone merely made him cum as his cock twitched with excitement.

Working quickly, Ted slowly lifted up the frail end of the night gown as he inched it up-up until it was a mere inch away from exposing himself, sensually stirring his friend.

"Do you want this?" Ted asked teasing, an edge to his voice as if preparing for rejection.

"More than anything," Barney whispered back, too aroused to be his usual guarded self.

 

"Than prove it.." the brunette murmured back. 

"Tell me how, show me Ted..." Barney whined unsure of what he was supposed to do.

Ted had stopped fucking him and the blonde waited impatiently, not wanting to ruin the moment or fuck up like he normally did.

 

"Make me fucking scream. I want the neighbours to hear me panting your name as I beg for more..."

Barney's face froze in shock as he stuttered with a response. Even now he still wasn't used to Ted's sexual aggressive behaviour. 

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~

"Barney, Fuck m-!..."

The blonde didn't have to be told twice, unfreezing and springing to action quickly  as he gently pulled his friend out of him and  flipped  Ted over  in perfect precision as he hovered over him eagerly positioning himself. Barney would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he missed the contact of Ted-missed feeling the dildo ride up all the way  inside him until he couldn't take it anymore.  He'd also be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he'd been dreaming for months of getting the chance to fuck his best friend. 

Although he wouldn't of minded Ted actually fucking him- which he wondered if he'd ever get the chance in the future.

_**The future...!** _

Barney was talking about the future with someone and to be honest - it terrified him.

Not that he'd ever admit to that either - he was, after all,

the master of Manipulation.  

~~~~~~~~.~~~~

Ted watched as his friend nimbly removed the cock ring, tossing it carelessly to the side.

 

"I knew you couldn't resist the Barnacle,  nobody can," Barney puffed proudly as he grabbed Ted's legs and dragged him towards his own naked body.

Ted simply shook his head and smiled. How Barney could go from 0 to 360 in a matter of seconds was beyond him him. Than again. ..

♡Your no better. Look at what you did with-to Barney. Fuck I can't believe Barney let me do those things to him.  Why the fuck would he let me?!♡

 

Looking up at long angelic eyelashes, Ted studied Barney's beautiful orbs as he noticed something different- there was something he just couldn't quit figure out about the blonde.

He didn't resemble Barney at all but then he did.

Ted didn't realize it but he was noticing the same thing Robin also saw weeks ago when she had come to comfort Barney.

_**What am I looking at?..** _

 

"Ted Theodore Mosby!"

"Huh..what?" Snapping back to reality to meet a rather annoyed friends gaze.

"I'm sorry was I boring you Ted?" Barney strained, attempting to brush his remark off as a bad joke.

♡He's actually annoyed I'm not swooning over him!♡

Ted couldn't of found Barney any cuter in that moment. 

"Come now, don't tell the great Barney is whining for attention again, is he?" the brunette cooed, running his hand along Barney's strong jawline. The blonde shivered at the touch,  moving inward.

"Oh I'll come now alright, right in your tight fucking ass."

 

Ted's heart rose as he groaned loudly.

  
_**And there it is. The strong, sexy in control Barney**_.

Ted always knew this side of his friend, just never experienced it first hand before.

_**Until now ...** _

Barney grabbed Ted's neck and forced him forward, locking lips with his aggressively before pulling quickly away.

 

"I'm going to make you scream so loud ,Theodore, that your going to have multiple noise compliments from all your neighbours. And when the cops show up I'm going to bury my ass even further into you so the cops can hear you scream the name of the man who rocked your world."

_**Too much...?** _

Ted whimpered at the strain of his hardened dick, pleading with him to give in...give in completely to Barney.

  
_**No just perfect**_.

"I'm ready." Ted breathed out.

 

As the brunette tried to steady his breathing as the first long finger pushed it's way into Ted's tight anus,

he was unsure which he liked more. Passive aggressive Barney, or loud and proud Barney.

Perhaps it was both sides that made the man so perfect.  

  _ **So perfect...**_

"Nhhh that feels...good."

"Relax Teddy that's just my finger. The fun hasn't even started yet."

♡ So perfect for me...♡

Ted was enjoying himself too much to concern himself with such feelings especially when Barney's finger was replaced with the tip of his cock. 

 

Hissing, Ted clung to the blondes arm as Barney slowly -ever so slowly- bared down on top of his friend. 

The Ex player didn't seem to mind as the teachers nails cut like daggers- piercing through the first layer of skin. Ted wanted Barney to feel what he was experiencing -pain.

 

"Nhhh. .no...ah.ahmm..wait. .wait.waitttt."

"Shh - Shh..." Barney soothed softly, stroking the beautiful brown hair back. 

"It'll feel so good soon, so fucking good soon. You know that right?"

No Ted did not know that but he wanted to. He wanted to believe the blondes words so fucking bad but he was having doubts with every thrust.

 

Barney worked slowly, trying to adjust to the tightness swelling around his cock and his friends resistance. To be inside Ted- to feel so fulfilled- it was unimaginable for the blonde; he had dreamed of this moment for a long time. Now if only Ted could start to enjoy it...

 

_**Jesus...why does Barney have to be so fucking big.  Maybe I should go back to fucking him....** _

And that's when it happened.

The moment of pain to one of complete blissfullness.

 

"Ooh Fuck. .."

"Ooh Oooh fuck...Barney...fuck..."

"Common Ted, I know your louder then that. I've heard you in the bedroom.  

"No need to be polite, let's hear...YOU..!"

At you, Barney thrust hard,sending Ted's body spasming in to pure exstasy.

 

He got his wish as Ted screamed Barney's name at the top of his lungs, unable to hold himself back; screaming over and over.

"BARNEYooh..FUCK. ..BARNEY...Oh my god yes...yes...OHH. ." Each thrust seemed to feel better and better, the tip of Barney's cock hitting the exact spot needed to send Ted just over the edge.  Ted was getting close...so close.

 

"Barney....Barney...c...cum....cum for me.. Oh fuck! Cum inside me..."

 

"You want me to fill you completely? You want all of me?" Barney growled, voice filled with lust. "Yes....God yes...." the teacher whimpered unable to focus on his friend. Everything felt so good...too good.

_**Is this even real??** _

 

At Ted's words, Barney's body moved into hyper drive as he pumped faster, the bed banging against the wall in steady rhythm.

From the corner of his eye he watched his beautiful brunette reaching desperately for his own cock, neglicted and crying for release. 

 

Pushing his hand away, Barney shifted, Ted's legs sprawled further back as Barney began to go down on...

"Oh...OH MY GOD! JESUS fuck BARNEY!"  Ted hissed, absoloutely loving the cold wet feel of Barney's mouth going to town on his cock. It felt as good as Barney's cock being inside him.

"Fuck... I must be dreaming.." The last part moaned before realizing it was said out loud. 

Luckly for Ted, Barney's mouth was a little ...busy..at the moment for a smart ass comment.

  
**_Holy Fuck!  Holy mother of fuck this feels too good...sooo good..._** Even Ted's thoughts began to melt as he lost himself completely to the blonde.  He became so lost in the sensation of Barney sliding his wet tongue slowly up and down the base of his dick that it was too late when he reached the breaking point.

 Barney had just begun to take Ted in completely- deep throating all 7 inches- when without warning Ted lost it; spilling his seed all over a surprised blondes mouth. 

 

Barney choked, gagging at the unexpected sensation as he worked on swallowing every bit of Ted down and ♡Fuck!♡ Ted couldn't help admiring how good his friend looked as he casually licked himself clean. 

It was hot enough to almost get Ted rock hard again but he faught back the urge instead focusing on the beautiful man still between his legs.

 

"Barney..." Ted whispered down, as he took the blondes face in his hand and forced him to look up.  "You got to taste me, now I want to feel you. Will you do that? Fill me completely with you; I want all of you."

 

It was said so innocent - but with such meaning that Barney literally came as soon as the brunettes words registered in his mind. 

 

"Good boy," Ted smirked as he lay down beside him. 

"I'm always a good boy, Theodore."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

"Well that was...." Ted searched for words to finish his sentence.  

Groaning Barney rolled over, facing away from his friend. He was so not ready for Ted to kill the mood already. Regardless of what his friend thought, he enjoyed just now...he enjoyed the whole night.  ♡Let him think what he wants but you have no reason to feel guilty. He was just as bad as you if not worse!♡

"Magical,amazing,perfect as fuck, undeniably and irresistibly hot." The blonde finished for him and was shocked when he heard a quiet, "Yes," respond. Turning around, he studied Ted's eyes, as if looking for the mockery. None was present.

_**Say something,tell him how amazing it was for you to! Say anything!** _

"Well you sure came quick enough,  Theodore. I know it's been a couple years since anyone's touched you but damn tell your body to not come on so strong!

_**Nice one jackass! Why don't you Insult him some more, I'm sure that'll defiently get in his pants again.** _

As Barney attempted to work up an apology, Ted scooted closer, resting his head on Barney's chest as he sighed contently. "Well you where just so amazing I couldn't possibly contain myself Barney."

"Really?" the blonde asked excited.

"Ha, no."

_**Ouch.Well I deserved that.** _

"Well then..."

"Don't pout," Ted grinned, leaning up to plant a small kiss on Barney's forehead.

"It makes you look too cute."

"Cute??" the blonde scoffed. "Stinson's are sexy and irresistible. Not cute."

Snorting back a laugh, Ted simply smiled in response.

 

"So studely. . do tell me again how you dominated me and then fucked me with your dick last night."

 

"Probably around the time I made you my bitch and gave you your bitch collar and fucked you with the dildo."

"I..uh...ya I got nothing... Goddammit Ted! You knew my weakness for teachers and you took an unfair advantage of me. In my books I'm calling rape."

"You? Raped? You do realize that it's not rape if you enjoyed it."

"And who says I enjoyed it!" Barney scoffed and Ted just shook his head, unable to stop smiling. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Your dicks got a big mouth, it told me."

"Yeah it did, sex-high-five!"

Ted thought about leaving him hanging and then decided against it, humoring him as he returned the gesture. After just now, Barney deserved it.

 

"Besides you where too busy being whiny and I don't usually unleash my awesome until the second date because nobody can handle all of this-" Ted gestured up and down his torso as he smiled widely.

  
_**Dear god Ted's been hanging around me too much.**_ Barney couldn't help but smile back as he ran his fingers through Ted's hair, amazed at how good cuddling actually felt. Barney made a rule to never do such acts afterwards, made girls too clingy.

 

As if on cue, Ted nuzzled further into Barney's chest, wrapping an arm around his body.

  
_**Sometimes rules are made to be broken..**_. Speaking of rules...

 

"Hey you broke the rules! You told me you where only going to shock me if I guessed wrong. I don't remember you bending me over backwards and fucking me with your dick..."

"There are no rules- anything goes remember!" Ted laughed back, enjoying using Barney's own words against him.

_**Fucking Ted...** _

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

"Holy fuck Andrea!" Ted sat up unexpectedly. 

"No Ted, I'm Barney."

"No, that woman I hit at her apartment.."

"OH jeeze Ted, stop being a girl, I'm sure she's fine. Your more worried than her and she's supposed to be the female, not to mention she's the one that got hit." 

"That was a woman? Wasn't sure what she was considering her manlyness and your choice of partners lately..." Ted joked, hinting at himself.

"Nawh I still only like chicks. Like take last night for example. I got this sweet ass brunette to take me home with her. A teacher to, can you believe it?"

"Your a dick, Swarley," Ted teased back, lightly punching Barney on the arm.

 

"Jeeze Ted I know I rocked your world but can you stop talking about my magnificent dick for even like five minutes?

 

Anyways about Andrea, crazy cunt is probably at home still, laughing about last night."

 

● **Knock Knock** ●

"Holy fuck the crazy bitch found out where you live!" Barney jumped out of bed, quickly throwing on what appeared to be his underwear (in fact it was Ted's, not that Barney minded later on.) "Let's get the fuck out of here!"

 

● **Knock Knock** ●

"Ted are you there?" A man's voice- Marshall, called.

Instantly relaxing again, Barney sat back down on the bed, attempting to seem nonchalant.  "It's just Marshall, Ted, no need to get excited." _**Righttttt** _

Laughing in relief Barney shock his head," Just Marshall...."

"Ha, yup. Just Marshall."

● **Knock Knock** ●

"Come on man, I know it's late but Lily's really worried..."

 

Realization drifted into both boys eyes as they suddenly both jumped up.

"Oh fuck it's Marshall!"

 

Scrambling quickly, Barney grabbed what clothes he could find,  slipping his shirt on carelessly as he slung his pants over his shoulders.  

  
_**How many times has Barney had to do this before...**_ A stab of worry crept up in the back of Ted's throat.

 Turning around swiftly,  Barney placed a quick peck to the side of the brunettes cheek before dashing out again.

 

It was funny how one gesture could mean so much....

Ted fought the feeling of hope as he watched one of his best friends sneak out the door, turning instead to head to the front. 

"Ya okay, I'm coming I'm coming."

 

A ball of worry/fury whizzed by quickly as soon as the door was freed and Lily looked Ted up and down.

"Ted we've been so worried about you. Why the he'll haven't you answered your phone?" "My ...phone...?" Ted mustered meekly as he tried to shake Barney from his head and concentrate. "I...uh..not sure. Sorry Lil. I uh, found Barney. He's...fine." _**Ha! Better then fine**_.

 

"See, their both okay. Can we go home and maybe..." "Ya, not tonight sweetie-" Lily, not batting an eyelash at turning her husband down, remained focus on her target. Ted. "And another thing, why wouldn't you let us know that you found Barney. We where all worried sick. Where is he?"

  
**_Good question. Hopefully not here anymore._** Ted refused to scan the room, knowing full well that Lily's hawk eyes would pick up on any signs. Instead he opted for a shoulder shrug. Noticing Lily's growing annoyance he added, "I'm assuming at home but you know how unpredictable Barney is."

 

Finally relaxing, Lily clicked her tongue like a disproving mother hen before resting on Marshall. "Goes on a man hunt for Barney at some strangers house in the middle of the night and then doesn't respond for hours at end. What do you think Robin?" She said, shaking her head as she looked to her best friend for confirmation. 

 

Ted hadn't noticed Robin who lay back quietly taking everything in. Looking around, her eyes widened- but only for a second before she smiled.

 

Robin could of said alot. She could of mentioned how strange their good friend Barney had been behaving the last time she had come across him, or the fact that Ted looked like a hot mess that had just finished a marathon of running. Hell she could of even mentioned that Barney was currently attempting to make it half-naked down the fire escape without being detected.

She did neither however, instead smiling innocently at her best friend. 

"You should know by now Lily that you can never understand men."

 Saying the words, she knew she was only partly right. 

She finally understood what she saw in Barney the night of the bar, it was the same look Ted always had on when getting excited over a new girlfriend in his life. The same look Ted had glazed over now as the brunette lay lost in thought. 

 

_**I wonder how long it'll take for the two idiots to realize it...** _

●●●

The door slammed as Ted turned and rested his body against the door frame. After a couple more scolding's and a mischievous smile from Robin, the brunette was finally alone for the first time in hours.  It felt....strange and he suddenly realized how much he missed his blonde.

 

Looking back, Ted shook his head at all that had happened between him and Barney. Realization sunk in that Ted had lost another challenge to Barney, completely missing the mark.

For once, he didn't mind losing to Barney.

He didn't mind it at all.

~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

Barney walked  through the busy streets humming to himself as he thought about everything that had transpired last night and this morning. In his mind he had gotten everything he could of asked for and no one was none the wiser. The feelings he had for Ted he had come to accept even if it wasn't the easiest pill to swallow. 

It was different, it was scary and perhaps after last night Ted might have some of the same feelings...

Then it dawned on Barney.

 

"Challenge completed!" 

And that's when he knew,

Everything was going to be alright.

and indeed, he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hoooly shit. Took me what? 10 months but FINALLY the last chapter! (I NEVER give up on stories, no matter what).  
> Thank you to all who have been patient- my original story completely deleted itself and I finally got around to make another one haha.
> 
> ~ Pretty tired so didn't really edit so sorry if there's a lot of mistakes xD
> 
> ~ Anyways comments would be greatly appreciated ! Kind of nervous lol

**Author's Note:**

> ** side note: the bolded italicized fonts are characters own private thoughts
> 
> So this originally was supposed to be a one shot but I wanted it to be more then just some drunk night at the bar so I'm adding more and improvising :P This is my second Barney/Ted fan fiction, I think the two are dynamic together, and I hope you like it :)
> 
> Sorry for the chapter being so short, like I said I was originally going to finish things off here but I decided to write more so I needed more "suspense." Currently working on chapter 2 as we speak so hopefully wont take too long to update.  
> I PROMISE this story will have a happy ending, mine always do :) if you like it, comments would be greatly appreciated <3


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